The Worries in Life

My daughter seems to have what is called separation anxiety.  She has had this for awhile, but recently it has been so bad, I have been taking her to a counselor.  It was working fairly well, but with all of the medical procedures and doctor appointments I have been having, it is getting worse again.  She had a pretty bad anxiety attack a couple of weeks ago and it even scared me!  The worst part of all of this is knowing that while I can help her a little bit with this, she actually needs to do most of the work herself.  And at being 8 (9 on this coming Sunday), she gets confused at some of the techniques she is supposed to use.  I can't say that I blame her, I have a difficult time with my own anxieties.  I can also say that telling her that everyone has worries isn't much help either.

We already had her think up a bunch of what if thoughts, which seems to be her biggest thing, and we put them in a zip lock bag on the top shelf of her closet.  This way those thoughts are locked away and they can't escape.  She has her affirmations, or good thoughts, written on paper and these she has put in her  happy box.  Her happy box also contains things that, well, make her happy.  A smooth blue stone, pictures of her grandma and her cat and a couple other items.  She needs to work on her slow, deep breathing, as this is supposed to help calm her down and she also needs to work on recognizing when she is going to start having an anxiety attack.  I can barely tell when I'm starting to have one! 

As a mom, this whole situation breaks my heart and makes me feel like I've done something wrong in my parenting.  I have tried to be the best mom that I am able to, but did I miss something along the way??  I almost can't help but wonder what is going to happen when she gets into middle and high school.  Will all of this get worse or will we have her coping skills managed by then?  Is this going to happen with my boys?  My oldest is very quiet and keeps many things to himself, so maybe he has had these thoughts and has just kept them away from me.  My youngest is very vocal about many things, so I'm sure I would know if he started all of this, but can a mom ever be sure?

I think I will be continuing to talk to my children and try to find out as much as I can about their day and their lives, so I can keep trying to steer them in the right direction, in this place called life.